The first day of 2011

This is what I did all day today!

The first day of 2011 was a complete Lazy Day at the Brewer House!

I played on the computer...
I got a lot of stuff done for my Tastefully Simple business....

checked my email...a few times

played on facebook

blogged and blogged

and blog hopped

Hubby laid in bed and watched football bowls and vegged...yes I told him he was vegging..and he laughed histerically and said, "Men do NOT veg."

But he was so vegging!!!

Lyla played in her room...with EVERY toy she has...she watched some Dora on the 55 inch...(yes..which means Dora was our 55 inch TV with surround sound and football was our 25 inch TV...oh how life changes when you have kids!!) ...some Mickey Mouse...and bounced back and forth playing with Mommy and Daddy.

And sometimes we would go in there with Daddy just aggrevate him during the game!!

Good Family Fun!!

All in all it was a great start to a New Year!!

I can't wait to see how this year turns out!!

I have gotten many phone calls and messages about my upcoming surgery Tuesday...

Thank you so much to everyone who sent me positive vibes!! They really help!!

They encourage me and uplift me! I know that gall bladder surgery isn't major surgery...but the nerves don't understand that!!

So thank you so much for all the kind words!!

Steak and Shake

I can't believe I haven't posted these pictures before...

well
wait no longer!

a while ago we went to the Tulsa Zoo..had a good time...but all the walking made us hungry so on the way back home we stopped by Steak 'n' Shake
(very convienent for the guys that it was RIGHT BY the Bass Pro Shop)

But I think we almost had more fun or dang close at Steak 'n' Shake than we did at the zoo!

Now the Aquarium in Jenks, OK...that is a different story! That is a great place to go! I reccomend that to anyone!

ok..moving on..here are some awesome pictures!

Kisses for Nanny...i love this picture!!

This is my crazy wonderful brother!

That is one great pair...I love them love them..with all my heart!

How could you NOT love that face?

Ask his English teacher.

This is my darling husband..who is going to hate me for putting his picture on my blog..but hey..that is what us sarcastic wonderful wives do!

Oh..I love memories like these..great times! I look forward to so so so many more!

Thankful on Paper

Last year for Thanksgiving I made these.....

They were a hit..everyone filled in the blanks with something they were thankful for! My mother in law kept them..and told me to do them again this year to see how our lives change from year to year. Feel free to steal the idea..it's a good one!

But this year..i plan on going one extra mile...

with Thankful on Paper.

I initially found this over At No.17 Cherry Tree Lane so I will take a excerpt from her blog on how this all works.

*The 4 Wednesdays (beginning on Nov 3rd), leading up to Thanksgiving, I'm going to write one person and tell them I am thankful for them and why. I will send it to them them that day (or drop it off at their house) and hopefully express to them how much I care for them and how grateful I am that they are in my life. I would love you to do the same.

*The 4 Thursdays (beginning on Nov 4th), leading up to Thanksgiving, I will write a simple blog post about who I wrote to and why. On those Thursdays, I would love for you to join me and write a post. I will link to each of your blogs on that Thursday so that others can visit your site and be inspired. (I am potentially going to do a LINKY, but might just do it myself as well, not sure). If the person is someone you would like to keep private, that is also fine. You can opt out that week or write a general post keeping it private, but sharing some sentiment of Thankfulness.


*It's as easy as that!

Not that hard..right?

I won't be doing a linky...unless I get a request too..i am just going to link up at Cherry Tree...I would love to see who you write to though!!

I know how much I cherish when my mom or someone finds something of my grandma's that she had written..I love seeing her writing..knowing that she sat down to take the time to write that. It is priceless...so whoever you pick to write you..will cherish it!

I know it has been said a million times..that we have so much social media out here now...that we forget to actually "talk" to people...to take people to lunch...to go out for drinks...remember ice cream socials?

now it is all texting or emails...

so take some time this Thanksgiving to tell the ones that you cherish that you love them..you are thankful for them..they will feel blessed..you will feel blessed..and maybe..just maybe..it could be one step into making this world a little better place!! :)

Multitude Monday

Holy Experience by Ann Voksamp is one of the most timeless...peaceful...and simple blogs i have read in a long time!
i love it!
She gives such inspiring words ...comforting words...words that make you stop what your doing and take a good look into your own house...

today she did just that to me..

having a two year old isn't easy...for anyone..
everytime i tell anyone i have a two year old..the response is always "Oh..I remember those days"...or something similar.

I know exactly what they are talking about...but Ann encourages you today in her blog post to take those "oh" moments and thank God for them!

Some pretty precious moments happen during those 3am feedings when it is just you and baby...no tv..no radio..no computer...just a soft light...a singing momma..and a cooing baby!

how precious! what a precious gift...gift!...that God has chosen you to have!

For my multitude Monday i want to start off with thanking God for:
those quiet times with Lyla
the exciting firsts of everything
a comfy rocking chair that we still use today to rock to sleep and sing
a soft lamp light
nature sounds
antique shops for mother and daughter bonding time
moms and dads (even stepdads)
working men that love
lavendar
wood floors to hear the pitter patter of little feet

Slow Down Sunday

so today i am really now slowing down either...

my mom and step dad are coming over to finish laying the rest of my flooring and all the border that goes around it.

So that way i can have MY house back....back to normal!

the past few days have been crazy! and disorganized!

i don't know which laundry is clean or dirty..so i have alot of laundry to do

there is dust everwhere from cutting all those boards..

everything is out of place..

but

i got new floors

which we needed

and i LOVE!

so I thank God!

let me know how you are slowing down this sunday ...

I am a bloggy recruiter!!

So last night while my cousin and I were having our weekly Friday craft night..where we don't craft and just sit at the table and gossip or get on the computer and listen to old music videos while the kids dance in the background....

I was selling the bloggy world to her..i think everyone should have a blog...

it is a great place to vent..to meet people...to find out answers to your questions...get encouragement...

if everyone had a blog I think we would all know just a little bit more about each other..and we wouldn't have to facade to hide behind!

all of us moms know we aren't perfect.....we all know that we aren't rich enough to buy ourselves a Coke swimming in money....and sometimes everyone's husband has MAN PMS...that's life...

So my cousin finally decided to jump in the blogoshpere and give it a try..

so go offer some encouragement..and help get her started!!

My Crazy Hectic Little World

Halloween already?

Lyla and I went out today and visited family that we don't get around to see very often. I love visiting family. You get to get out of the house..but still can be yourself..and of course Lyla always puts on a show! Plus you get to hear drama...good drama! :)

But as I was driving around..I seen everyone already had up Halloween decorations outside!

I don't!

Am I late?

I got get going!!!

so i am off to blog hop around to find Halloween decor and get his ball rolling...

I also got to start BOOing people...Halloween is coming faster than I thought!!!

OMG!

A visit to Papa David's house

Tonight we went to my dad's house...papa david to Lyla....
we always have such a great time over there..
I love talking to my dad....and Lyla loves how funny he is. She laughs the whole time we are there.
And where my dad lives is one of those old timey towns...it has about 200 people in the whole town...everyone knows everyone...
the tornado siren goes off when the store gets bait stocked....kidding
you know what i'm talking about..
so at dad's house every weekend..all the guys (and gals) come down and they all play horse shoes.
everyone gets along...i love it.
i love the feel of family eventhough no one is related!
I love that lyla gets to experience that...and i know that it will be a memory of hers when she gets older.

i remember running into my papa damon's house (my dad's dad) and going straight to the kitchen to the table and to the cookie jar to get two (one for each hand) cookies!
I also remember he always had a lucky horseshoe above his shop door.

how ironic. huh?

i have memories that are burned into my brain...and i love them..i cherish them!
i want lyla to have the same!

I cherish the times i have with my dad.
I cherish seeing him act crazy with Lyla and watching her laugh until she is out of breath.

I love it.

I hope they are sleeping good!

Because obviously I'm not....

I am up blog hopping around....

Geez!

My husband is happy again!

With our income tax money last year we went on a splurge and bought a 55 inch TV. I don't have to have a big TV to watch...and at the moment niether did my husband. The year before we bought this computer...so I got my splurge and his was the TV. Well..we had football parties...he told all his friends..we had visitors over just to see the TV like it was a newborn child...MEN!

Well about about a month ago...we had a power surge...and the TV...

was dead!

DEAD!

My husband...was grieving.

He hadn't watch a little TV in over a year...he said it hurt his eyes to watch such a little TV in our bedroom. He even called himself spoiled!

and to top it off...Football season was starting!

I thought for a moment I was going to have to commit my husband until I saved up enough money to buy a new TV.

We argued and hassled and called and messaged and faxed the warranty company for over a month and nothing was getting done.

So the hormones in me went off on my husband and told him to finally get mean and GO TO THE STORE and demand to talk to the manager and tell him what is going on and that you want it fixed now. ....why do I have to be the mean one? You would think he would be..but he would argue with them forever before he finally done something...I gotta be his pep talk!

So like a good husband he did what i told him and BOOM ...that day...he went to go pick up the TV you see here.

Another 55 inch Vizio..but this one is an LED instead of an LCD...or the other way around...i have no clue. ..and it has a feature on it where you can get a wireless router and your tv will connect to the internet! Now that is a cool feature. It has a higher resolution..blah blah blah...and I can get on Facebook while Lyla is watching Mickey Mouse!!

Now that is what I call a TV!

Woohoo!!

Bind together.

Dear Lyla,

I pray that when you get older that you know the value of "family". I have tried to instill that in you. Your family is all you have in this world. When things fall apart..we will be there. If you  need to cry,sob, weap..we will be there. If you wanna jump for joy, smile, sing, praise God...we will be there! No matter what happens..what you do...where you go...Your daddy and I will always be here..good or bad..happy or sad...we are here! I want you to know that! I want you to know also that we will love you...forever..unconditionally. That means no matter you do or think...we will love you. So many people now a days are distancing themselves from thier family. That is just what the devil wants. If a family ever binds together in Jesus name ...that shakes the devils boots. I am so glad and praise God that we are bound together in Jesus name! Your dad's side of the family for some reason...doesn't feel the need to bind with us. I don't know why. We have never done anything to them. We try to talk to them...try to take them out to lunch...it just doesn't work. The only time they see you is when we take you to church. Now your old enough to go into Sunday School Class..then you hang in the nursery during big church and play with your friends..so now they really don't even see you at church. There is never just a drop by visit...or pick you up from preschool...nothing. Why? I don't know. But no matter what happens with anyone or anything..me and your dad...will always be here for you! You absolutely love your Nanny Carol and Papa James..along with your Papa David and Uncle Colton...they visit...they pick you up from preschool just to hang out...they are very active in your life...and I pray that you will always feel comfortable enough to come talk to one of us who truly love you and are invested in your life being the best possible life that it can be!

Love,
Your momma

Celebrating Lyla's Second Year of Life!!

This past Sunday we celebrated Lyla's 2nd Birthday!

I , like every other mother, can not believe that my baby is two years old! It seems like yesterday we were bringing her home from the hospital, waiting for her belly button to fall off, excited to try out the first baby foods. Now we are singing songs, and ABC's, potty training, talking in full sentences.

Where did the time go?

Did I treasure it all?

Did I record everything I wanted to?

I have to say in two years..she is a beautiful, mature, and smart cuppy cake!

There has been hair pulling times and times where I laugh so hard my jaws hurt. Being a mom is the best thing I have done in my life. I know now why I looked forward to it all those years as a child...it is like nothing else.

It is extremely hard but greatly satisfying.

Nothing compares.

I have to admit ...it is sometimes hard on your marriage..it is stressful and you take things out on each other. It is times like these though that you gather the family together, enjoy each other's company and when the chaos is all over Gregg and I  pull together and say, "Look what we have done!" and we bask in the pride and joy that we have raised and nurtured for two years.

Baby Natalie

When I had been dating my high school sweetheart for about five years we made the ultimate teenage mistake and got pregnant. I say "teenage"...i was 18...he was 19..... but we had been together for so long..we had planned on getting married...we lived together....we acted and fought like a married couple..so it wasn't like it was a one night stand....if you can't tell it still kinda irks me that I made the mistake...He was the man i was going to marry...we had it planned...I knew I was spending the rest of my life with him...so I let my guard down...and well...kids...it only takes one time....

but ..anyway....He did what most teenage men do...."It isn't mine!"

We lived together!!! Hello!! We were together 24/7. It wasn't immaculate conception.

 

Then it was , "Well she is just trying to trap me"

 

Ok..if I am trapping you..then I am trapping me too..because I am the one who has grow up and take responsibility for this baby whether you want to or not...not to mention my once beautiful teenage body will never be the same.

 

Now ...being the adult that I am...I understand where he was coming from...it was scary....all of sudden realizing that you are going to be responsible for someone's life...We were in the stage of dreaming about buying land and building our own house with horses and chicken..our own little farm...picket fence and all...at the time...it REALLY sucked for me...I wish he would have been there for me emotionally more...but i understand now...not that it is justifiable...but i get where he was coming from...

 

I didn't have a choice...the baby was inside ME...i couldn't run...or hide....time to tell dad

 

He went with me to tell dad...cause we weren't real sure how dad was going to react...

my dad....being the priceless man that he is...says "Good Job Nik!"

 

ok

thanks dad

 

needless to say my dad was not happy but it was done and he was OK..we started to plan the nursery and had everything on the road to getting ready for the arrival of the little one.

 

We had our kids names already picked out...we picked them out years ago.....Natalie Faye for a girl...and Ethan David for a boy... both the names were family names...Faye is after my middle name...and my grandmother's name on my father's side..... David was his middle name and my dad's name..and his dad's name

 

One night ..I started to cramp. Not bad at first. My dad came home early from work..because he had to go pick up my uncle for some reason...he asked if i would be ok...I said yes...but i wish I said No....

 

I felt so guilty though...already being pregnant and not having a house of our own...not being married yet...i didn't want to cause anymore trouble than i had to

 

By that morning..my cramps were so bad that I had to call my aunt to take me to the hospital to see what was going on....

 

When I got to the hospital...the Dr checked me..and said everything was fine...probably just Braxton Hicks contractions.

 

I went downstairs to leave and my water broke. I was seven months pregnant.

My body would not dialate...I had to have the baby naturally ...I was in labor for what seemed like forever....but however long it was....it was to long..and the baby didn't make it.

I don't remember alot of the details about what happen that day...or a few days after...and some things that happened in my past...i don't remember...

maybe it was all so traumatic to me that my brain just blocked it all out...some one told me that i might have had to much anthestic and it could have messed with my memory...

but one thing that i can still see vividly to this day...seven years later...is her face....her hands....fingers..toes...her hair...her nose and lips...her complexion....she looked like him but had a little bit of me in her.

To this day I don't know why they didn't do an emergency C section ..only God knows...and I am not supposed to question that...I won't lie..because at the time i did...I have always wanted to be a momma...i know i wasn't particularly ready at the moment...but i was getting there...i had grown up and getting ready....I wondered why God would do that me....I had always gone to church...I pray...Why me? Why not some druggy that don't even deserve kids...

But i think that is why i teach preschool now...because i know now how precious children are...how fragile they are...how much God loves them....and what a huge impact adults are to them

For whatever reason...I know that I am in God's hands....and so is Natalie Faye...

I pray for her...and my ex...and all my family that had to go through that with me...and I thank God that somehow all that heartache and pain...led me to Gregg...

and eventhough sometimes we clash....he loves me..and respects that part of my life...and I love him even more for that...

and none the less...meeting Gregg gave me Lyla...and having gone through the pregnancy with Natalie...I wasn't as scared and stressed when i was pregnant with Lyla...and thank God she is happy and healthy and doesn't have one thing wrong with her ..besides her momma's sarcastic attitude

 

So for whatever reason I have one baby in Heaven and one with me here on Earth.....

I think about Natalie everyday...I miss her like crazy...and yes...even seven years later...i still cry..it still hurts..but you learn to control the tears and the pain...and try to find the good ...

I take Lyla with me to visit her and talk to her...I know that Lyla has a special angel in heaven watching her...and that makes me smile..

 

And I thank God that I have a God in heaven that knows all my mistakes, forgives me, lets me start all over again and again........and loves me anyway!

I love you Natalie!

Love, Mom

The next to last family wedding..

My sister in law got married June 19th...she is the youngest besides my brother...so we only have one more family wedding to go...that is IF my brother ever gets married....and he is only 14..so we have a ways!
But here are a few pictures that my Pastor's wife took of my baby who was the flower girl!
Then I spruced them up on Picnik a little..

any of you professional picture takers....if you have any tips....please don't hesitate to let me know!!!

But doesn't she look stinkin' cute??

Working Mom Wednesday..Secrets of Motherhood

Over at Work, Wife, Mom...Life! she is doing a thing called Working Mom Wednesdays...
I have never done this before but was skimming through some blogs this morning and found it...

it looks pretty neat...I am a working mom...and it is wednesday...so what the heck!

This weeks topic is 10 things you wish someone would have let you know about motherhood....

What a great topic!!

1. That you lose all dignity and embarrassment when your legs are wide open on a table and everyone has thier nose six inches from "your spot" trying to see something inside you...

2. That your body will NEVER go back to what it used to be...unless you have money to clip here and tuck there...and to get it even close ..you have to work your BUTT off!!!

3. that from now on you will always feel like you are forgetting something

4. I wish someone had warned me that I would completely let myself go....and not even realize it...

5. All the wonderful things i used to do ...like scrapping....is now toys to my baby

6. One thing someone did tell me..was to keep a journal...keep up with a baby book..it is precious memeories

7. no matter how long you wait to have a baby ..your marriage changes...you will have long talks...crying nights...mood swings...wanna quit...but dont! It gets better!

8. no one expects you to have a clean house with a child...of any age

9. you worry more about your child's relationships with family than your own..so there will be a lot more family stress

10. and the most important thing...you can be puked on, pooped on, snotted on...and whatever else...and you will worry more about your baby than changing clothes..

Sometimes it is hard to be "family"

I don't know what it is here lately ... maybe I am just reading to much into stuff... maybe I am just looking for something...

I have wrote a post before about how my inlaws don't make it a priority to visit Lyla...when they do see her it is at church...except for the one exception when they took her and my nephew to the movies...
but she never gets invited to go to Nanny and Pappaws house like my nephew does....she never spends the night at thier house...she never gets time with them to herself....
it makes me sad for her...and it makes me mad...but I don't say anything...it isn't my loss ..it thiers..

But now they are like completely ignoring me....I don't know what we did to be disowned from the family...or if my sister in law being pregnant with a girl has completely erased Lyla ...and hopefully I am completely off base here and reading way to much into things...

but for some crazy reason...you can't deny actions...they don't talk to me...not a hi, bye, nothing!

This morning in church I was praying and crying..none of them prayed with me...

Maybe I am being sorry for my self...but the biggest part of me wants to forget it all and not even deal with the negativity that comes from them....but the small part of me feels for Lyla and wants her to have a relationship with every family member she can...because that is all you have in this world....

but on the other hand....she has another grandma....and my step dad....and my real dad....and my brother...and many many friends....

so what is stopping me from just cutting ties?

Technology first....family first....

Wow...I just had a few minutes after supper while Lyla was watching Micky Mouse Clubhouse and before I started cleaning to check a few blogs to see what was up in the internet world.

and I came across No 17 Cherry Tree Lane...and she hit me HARD with a post about choosing your family over technology...

well really hers was about ...not letting techonology rule you...you choose to use it when you WANT....She doesn't want to have to feel like she HAS to check on blogs or her email...
which is exactly how I fell...but let myself fall into the temptation EVERY TIME!!

Well she had a few goals...and I plan to have a few myself!
I just started my blog and I absolutely love it!...it is a great way to get my thoughts out..that are bugging me...especially since my husband works all the time and I don't feel like i get to talk to him enough...

So
1. my first goal is to not be on the computer while Lyla is awake...this is one I feel horrible about...we get home at 5:30pm...then we do supper and bath and bedtime..i only spend a few hours with her before she goes to sleep...and sometimes i run in here to check my facebook or something else...ugh..i feel so bad!

2. I need to remember to put my husband before the computer...sometimes he will watch something stupid on TV that i really really don't wanna watch..so i just come in here to get on the internet and see what's going on...well i plan on staying in there with him..and if i don't wanna watch tv..i will just cuddle with him...

3. I need to dwindle down the website that i get on everyday...regularly...i have to many...i have to many right now and i try to push myself to see what is happening on all of them..and ignoring what i need to be doing...like cleaning..or laundry...so i need to cut down my internet sites...
the only ones i really like to get on..is the blogs i read..and cafemom...and facebook...and here lately i get on facebook for just a few minutes....it is starting to lose interest to me...i don't twitter so that is good...

but I am so thankful to No 17 Cherry Tree Lane for posting that post..i really needed to read it..and i hope many other people do too...and I hope it changes thier lives like it did mine...

Family Competition

So last night our Bible Study Group decided instead of meeting...since this is our last meeting (because during the summer we go to the church for an actual church service) ..we should go out to eat and have fun.



My Father in law called me to see if I was going ...I said sure...once I got my hurricane down for a nap. He said GREAT ..you can just ride with us if you want..we will pick you up.



I was thinking Yay! Lyla will get to spend some good quality time hanging out with her grandma and grandpa that she doesn't see very much...don't know why she doesn't see very much of them...because they live just a way up the road..but they never come by...don't know why they never come by because they can always make it to my sister in law's house to visit thier grandson...their must be something in the road that blocks them from coming this direction to see thier granddaughter.



Anyway....

We went to a steakhouse and had a nice dinner....Well..I had to wrestle a two year old by myself..so I had close to nice dinner...then afterwards we all went back to our cars to go home...in the process...my nephew starts to scream bloody murder that he wants to ride with his Papaw...In his Papaw's truck..with me...Lyla...and my mother in law.....in the truck...

Papaw explains to him that he has to take me and Lyla home so there isn't enough room...while Mother in law says...SURE THERE'S ENOUGH ROOM!!

*rolls my eyes*
sure there is enough room...if I stand on my head and put Lyla on my back...sure there is enough room.

So now we have suddenly made plans to go to the park.

At 8pm.

We get to the park....after the screaming contest on the ride home from the two and three year old sitting side by side in the back seat of Papaw's truck.

Lyla takes my mother in laws hand to go swing...but then my nephew hollers for my mother in law...then my sister in law..screams for my mother in law to let her know that HE wants HER to play with HIM....

oh..excuse..me...Let's just throw my child to the wind...forget that we were trying to spend time with her grandma and grandpa that she never gets to see...just forget her and go play with the child that you watch all the time...14 hours a day...while they go to school and work...and to the movies..and to have a parent break from baby...while they are preggo with another one....

So needless to say I am to the point of disowning the other set of grandparents and saying forget it

She has a great set of grandparents who love her dearly..and would give up what they were doing if we called to have them watch her so that we could have a date night to ourselves..which we NEVER ask for!!!! I am sick of the family competition...I am sick of trying to stick up for my daughter...I am sick of trying to pull attention to my daughter just so she could spend a little time with her grandparents...

I am sick of it!

I need to encourage my husband.

So I have been reading and studying on what a wife's duties are and what I should be doing.

Gregg and I have been having some communication problems...with added stress...calls for a no good situation and here lately we have not been happy.
And I know that all of this is not all Gregg's fault because I have seen with my own eyes that when I am having a bad day and I take it out of him...it breaks him. It breaks his spirit..his confindence..and he ends up having a bad day ..which again..does not = a good marriage.

So from here on out I am making a conscious decision to encourage my husband...to edify him...to lift him up and thank him and appreciate him for being him!!!
I do love him..with all my heart! He is a great man and a wonderful father. He would do anything he could for his family. He takes care of us and provides for us...and even works over time to so that we can plan big family trips! He is what I have dreamed of...and I need to remember that.
Sometimes when day to day stuff occurs and minor details get in the way ...I forget to step back and realize that I am living my dream...I have a great husband and a great daughter...two dogs...our own house...a fenced yard...what more could I want...(well a new car would be nice) but anyway....I have a LOT to be thankful for and I don't want to take any of this for granted...

Technology Break....

Have you ever wondered what you would do if you didn't have the internet?
I have been.
I think if I didn't have Facebook to get on and check on everyone, look at pictures, and play games I would have more time to clean my house and get things organized.
I think if I didn't have CafeMom to get on and check all my groups and discuss topics that I would have more time to plan and cook better meals for my family.
I think if I didn't have so many emails to check I would have more time to play with my daughter.

And to me..all those latter things are a little more important than the internet. So I am thinking about turning it all off for a while. I think if I left it on our bill that I would still get on the internet. It seems like it sucks me in. I don't know how it does it...but once it gets to that point that means that it is becoming addicting and that is not good.
I do not want to idolize anything before my God and I think if I didn't have this computer to run to maybe I will run to my Bible more...which is what I need to be focused on instead of Hotel City at the moment.

We just had a scare with the Dr telling us that Lyla has a heart turbulance in one of her heart valves...and here lately Gregg and I have NOT been getting along..at all...not even for a moment. So instead of wasting time and energy on stuff that will not help my marriage or allow me more time to spend time with my family ..I need to put the internet aside and focus on what makes my life important...my marriage and my daughter!

God has been pulling and pushing me and I have been very confused with what I am supposed to do ..where I'm supposed to be...and what I need to be teaching Lyla. See...When I was little I chose to go to a Baptist church..
Honestly the reason I went there was because I was 11 and all my friends did...plus I lived in a town of 200 people so Baptist was pretty much your only option. But now that I have met my husband I have met a new church family. They are United Penecostal...major difference than Baptist. Some things I can see where they are coming from...others I don't...and instead of playing Facebook games ..I need to be digging into the Bible and seeing what I think the Lord is saying about those things that I am confused about.
I need to be still............and listen............to God.
and with the internet all ready and waiting for me to have fun..it is hard to just be STILL.

So I think I need to get rid of that temptation altogether and see what God teaches me through this.
I'm going to talk to my husband about it...because it seems like you can't do anything now a days without the internet.
I connect with family members over Facebook.....what happened to calling and seeing how you were doing? I look up phone numbers on yellowpages.com...what happened to using a good ol' phone book? It is crazy to me as I sit here and think of how dependant I am on the internet.

Well those of you that read this...pray for me...and pray that I get what I need from this journey and when I feel like I can handle myself, my family, and my house....and want the internet as a treat every once in a while...I will sure get on and post something to let you all know how it is going.